Author Archive
Women’s Dating Resolutions for the New Year
Posted by: | CommentsDid you make resolutions for the New Year? Most of us make resolutions to change things in our lives; lose weight, stop smoking, get more exercise, be kinder, or be a better parent. Sometimes they are so big that we soon give them up. The first month of the year is over, how are you doing on your resolutions? How motivated are you in what you want to accomplish? Have you ever thought about Dating Resolutions?
Recently, “It’s Just Lunch” had an article on their blog www.itsjustlunchblog.com about Dating Resolutions for women and men. This is a “premier Dating Service for busy professionals” that arranges meetings usually over lunch between single professionals. Evan Marc Katz, author of “Why You’re Still Single: Things Your Friends Would Tell You I You Promised Not To Get Mad” came up with 10 Dating Resolutions for Women. ( I have added to it)
1. Make an effort – get out there, nothing happens in a vacuum.
2. Don’t take things personally-not every man is going to be your soul mate. As the saying goes you have to “kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince”, while dating you can define the qualities you are looking for.
3. Do nothing-once you have met him, it’s his job to follow up. I know it’s hard but guys still like to feel like they are in charge. If a guys really cares he will let you know!
4.Stay open- don’t limit yourself by too specific “wants” like profession, location, amount of hair, weight, height (height is one of my “biggies” I am not comfortable with guys shorter than me). You never know he maybe a diamond in the rough and you know we love diamonds!
5.Be positive-no one wants to be around a negative person. This is a deal killer for me, I can tell on the first phone call whether I want to date a guy by how he talks about himself, family or life. Don’t bring up all the things that went wrong in your last relationship or life.
6.Don’t try to change men-they not made of play dough or clay although some may act like it. You can’t change the way they grew up, some habits may be able to be changed, weight loss, physical activity, learn sports or dancing. If you try or expect them to change you will both be unhappy. Would you want some guy to try and change you?
7.Change your focus- look for qualities you would look for in a friend not just as a lover. No matter how good a lover he is if he doesn’t have good vertical qualities and doesn’t treat you the way deserve he‘s not right for you.
8.Be humble- when you are mentally critiquing your date he might be doing the same to you.
9.Forgive the ignorance-guys just want you to like them but often don’t know how to go about it. One of the things I look for is whether in the first conversation is if they ask questions of about me. Sometimes they just talk on and on in answer to my questions but don’t seem like they want to know me (a future post I will give you a list of questions). When a couple of guys meet they always seem to find a common ground and have something to talk about but when they are talking to a women they can get tongue tied.
10.Give yourself a break-dating can be difficult so just look at it as adventure, the chance to meet someone new not necessarily your soul mate. Most of all have fun!
Hopefully, this will give you some food for thought about how you want to pursue Dating in this New Year. Let me know if you come up with other Dating Resolutions to share.
Check out posting for Top 10 Resolutions for Men by Andrea Syrtash, author and host of “On Dating”.
Men’s Dating Resolutions for the New Year
Posted by: | CommentsDid you make resolutions for the New Year? Most of us make resolutions to change our lives for the better like lose weight, stop smoking, get more exercise, be kinder, or be a better parent. Sometimes they are so big that we soon give them up. January is over how are you doing on your resolutions? How motivated are you in what you want to accomplish? Have you ever thought about Dating Resolutions?
Recently, “It’s Just Lunch” had an article on their blog www.itsjustlunchblog.com about Dating Resolutions for women and men. This is a “premier Dating Service for busy professionals” that arranges meetings usually over lunch between single professionals. This article for men was by Andrea Syrtash, dating expert, life coach, author and host of “On Dating” produced by NBC Digital Studios. Her third book “He’s Just Not Your Type (and that’s a good thing) “ will be published by Rodale in April 2010.
Andrea’s top 10 Dating Resolutions for men: ( I have added to it)
1.Date the person not the potential-you are more likely to find success in love if you are realistic about how she is right now. She can develop new interests but if she really is not interested in something you are or to the same degree (like sports or motorcycles) it is probably not going to change no matter how good you make her feel. To be fair some women have been known to exaggerate their interest to appear more desirable. Shame on us…you wouldn’t see a man getting all excited about sewing or shopping just to score points with us.
2.Listen to your date’s words, but put credence in her actions –if she tells you how important you are to her but can’t find time for you, take the hint she may not be ready to commit.
3.Take Risks-step outside your comfort zone and try something new. If you keep going to the same places or doing the same things ( you tend to get the same results) but not finding the kind of women you want then you need to look elsewhere.
4.Be Open-you cannot find true intimacy without vulnerability. Protecting yourself from being hurt does not allow you to making a real connection. This is very common after a big break up just remember women have gone through similar experiences.
5.Be Resilient-not every date is going to be successful. The dating is a way to refine the criteria for the person you will fall in love with. There is no need to expect every date to be a home run unless you are really shallow and only looking to score sliding into home base horizontally.
6.Be Present –sometimes we can be so concerned about whether someone is a good match we ignore how we really feel about them. (I think women do this more than men.)
7.Be Positive –no one likes negativity, we all come into dating with past experiences. The trick is not to bring them into new relationships (one of the deal breakers when I first talk to someone is how negative they are- if all they do is grouch about life I don’t even want to go out with them).
8.Get Over an EX Who is Haunting You –do you find yourself comparing women you meet to the woman who broke your heart? Get it out of your system by writing about it, talk to a counselor or test a friend’s patience to find closure. Then leave it at the door as you head out for your date, it is over and done with so don’t bring it to a potentially rockin’ relationship.
9.Sweat the Small Stuff –Never underestimate the little things you do for your lady. It is the small everyday things that mean so much; listening, being thoughtful, a card for no reason, picking up your stuff, helping with dinner, asking if she needs help will mean as much if not more than a dozen roses that only last a little while.
10.Have Fun -make a resolution to have fun in your dating pursuits! Dating is a great opportunity to meet new people, step out of your comfort zone and try new things. Dating can be an adventure so ENJOY!
Hopefully, this will give you some food for thought about how you want to pursue Dating in this New Year. Let me know if you come up with other Dating Resolutions to share.
Check out posting for Top 10 Resolutions for Women by Evan Marc Katz, Author of “Why You’re Still Single: Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not To Get Made”
Amazon Women video
Posted by: | CommentsI met a nice guy named Lee last Sunday at a ValleyMovieGroup.com event. I told him about my company, that I did background checks for singles. He told me about this video and then sent me the link. Not sure when the movie was made but it was a few years ago- they must have thought background checks were a good idea even then.
Photos for Internet Dating Websites
Posted by: | CommentsWhen you meet someone in person there can be an instant chemistry, you feel an admiring glance, you make eye contact, you flirt a little to be noticed. Internet dating is different in that you need to make a great first impression by your photo and your written profile. There are many reasons why people go to Internet dating sites: shyness, new to their community, or they don’t like to hang out in bars but they still want to meet interesting people to date. All of the sites have a page that has your picture and profile as well as interests, then they try to match you up with others with similar interests or goals.
If you are not sure what kind of pictures to use or what to write consult an expert like Joann Cohen, a genuine Dating Consultant Coach in the Phoenix area http://www.joanncohen.com helps single professionals create genuine and individualized dating plans that really work. One of the ways to meet someone fantastic is through Internet online dating. Online Dating Examiner E. Foley’s company, Online Dating Profiler, provides online dating profile writing and coaching services to clients around the world. She can help you with advice on writing interesting profile for your Internet online dating page.
Two of the keys to success in Internet online dating are good photos and a great profile. The quality of your online responses will increase when you are portrayed in the most flattering way. Joann has some easy and quick tips for great Internet photos.
Make sure you have current photos on your site. Many Internet daters are uncomfortable responding to profiles without photos. Research has shown that women are 8.5 times more likely to look at male’s profile with a photo and men are 14 times more likely to respond to a woman’s profile. (No surprise- men are more visual!) Why miss out having the right person find you? I personally do not respond to a man’s profile that does not include a picture. There is no reason not to be able to include at least one picture! If they don’t, I assume they have something to hide- like being married!) Your first photo should be a head shot. This is from the chest or shoulders up with you looking into the camera and smiling (see mine). Please have a professional photo done- don’t use a photo a friend took or one shot in the bathroom mirror (we can tell).
Your photos should be just you – not in groups of friends, it is hard to pick you out.. You should not post pictures of others without their permission unless you hide their faces and that can be distracting. After all, your photo should be all about You. Guys, we really don’t care what your motorcycle looks like, when you try to take a picture of you and the bike, your head becomes so small we can’t tell what you look like.
Include 3-4 photos with at least 1 full body shot. Let’s be honest and fair so your potential date gets the whole picture of what you look like. Your date is going to see the ”real you” eventually so why not be upfront about your proportions. Want to look skinnier? Wear a solid color or thin stripes only, especially for full body photos, as it makes your body look slimmer. Busy patterns can be distracting and the viewer should be looking at you not what you are wearing. The exception is me I look great in turquoise and the print is small.
They say a picture is better than a thousand words, unfortunately, there are those who look first and may or may not get to know you later. I am not saying that is superficial (we are all guilty of it) but some people determine who they want to get to know by how the other person looks. Did anyone watch the recent TV show “Dating in the Dark”? What did you think of it? For those who didn’t it was a show where 3 guys and 3 gals met in a totally dark room for their first 3 dates and got to know each other without seeing what they looked like. They got acquainted by talking and not concentrating on “looks”. Interesting premise don’t you think?
DATING RED FLAGS
Posted by: | Comments1. Are you getting strange vibes about your “love interest”? Trust your instinct !
2. Do they ANSWER your questions? Do they change the subject or ignore them?
3. Do they tell stories differently each time?
4. Do they give you their home phone number or only a cell, business number or just an email address?
5. What is their marital status? Are they in a committed relationship?
6. Do they have children? Are they a part of their lives? If not why? Are they current in their child support?
7. Do they have a criminal record? Do they have DUI’s? Are they a child molester or sex offender?
8. Do they always seem short of money or forget their wallet and ask to borrow money (just for a little while)? Ask you to co-sign ? Filed bankruptcy? If so what type?
9. Have you seen signs of short temper, anger outbursts or violence?
All of the above are RED FLAGS and the warning bells should be sounding loud and clear. A background check can confirm their identity, integrity and financial stability.
Background Checks Keep you from Meeting “The Felon”
Posted by: | CommentsTo play it safe when dating strangers it is best to do a little homework first and find out as much as you can about the person you are about to meet. A background check keeps you from becoming a victim of foul play.
As a recently divorced woman in 2005, I moved to a new city and state where I only knew one person, I had no contacts for making new friends. In previous generations couples met mostly through family and friends in their neighborhoods or communities (where everyone knew each other), or at college. Usually someone knew all about who your latest heart throb was unless they were new in town.


