CALL TO ACTION SINGLES !

February, 2013 the Android Version of my App “Check Out A Date QUESTIONS” was approved by Google.  February 4, 2014  Apple approved the version for iPad and iPhone but they changed the visual format and the way the App works. You can watch the longer video version under “Get the Questions APP” page of this website.

The concept of the App was to enable a Single to ask and answer the QUESTIONS in order of the Categories:

Who am I / Who are You -  To be able to learn what kind of mate you are looking for – you need to know your wants and needs first. Ask the first Category questions of yourself then of your potential dates.

Getting Acquainted –general questions of interests; hobbies, music, time needed to self and definitely marital status!

Relationships- more in-depth questions on how much a subject matters or what they think.

Intimacy – those tricky questions you may not know how to phrase or ask and their importance in a relationship.

Red Flags / Safety –If any of the answers from the other Categories concern you – LISTEN to your instinct and get them checked out (we can do a background check). For those re-entering Dating after a divorce or death of spouse there are Safety issues that are new to our Millennium.

Family History – this is a fun section of questions you can ask friend or families to learn more about them and what is/was important to them. Great for Family dinners!

 There is also a Relationship Readiness Quiz from Marcy Rich, MA from Heightened Connections to help evaluate how ready you are for a committed relationship.

I could use some help from Singles. Please watch the a 1 minute version of the APP on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV7CU6oi3SQ. If it looks interesting and you LIKE the video and format  PLEASE give it a THUMBS UP. Feel free to Share on any Social Media sites you are on. If I get enough positive comments then I can use it to have the format  restored to the original design.

Check Out A Date QUESTIONS App

 

 

 

This is an update to my Jan. 16, 2014 post: Wife #6 (their divorce finalized 12/1/2013) lived close by John J’s house noticing that his car hadn’t been there for quite a while and the house looked vacant. Wife #6  checked his Facebook page and saw a photo of his wedding in December to Yolanda M. performed by John’s friend Padre “P” in Phoenix , not by his Pastor at his home  church in Sun City, AZ. John had taken her to Bryce Canyon, AZ in the Fall and posted a photo of them  (hopefully after our  broken engagement 9/30/2013  unless that is where he was when he was supposed to be in France handling the “deaths of his two grandchildren”).

Padre “P” commented on the Facebook photo and what a nice couple they made. I sent a message to the good Padre asking him how a good friend of John J’s he was and whether he was aware of his propensity to not be truthful. I explained why I asked; how long he had been divorced  (at that time he was still married to Wife #6 while engaged to me, he had told me he had been divorced for two years), the stories of his estrangement with his son, his beloved daughters’ tragic death in a car accident three years before and her children’s purported deaths in France in mid-September, 2013. I emailed that if he needed any additional information to feel free to call me and I would elaborate. He never contacted me by email or phone.

I wonder if Padre “P” did the usual pre-marital counseling with John J and Yolanda? Did he mention that John J had been married 6 times (that we know of) or that he had been engaged to at least 3 women in the past 18 months since his divorce from Wife # 5 in mid 2012. Apparently there isn’t required disclosure of emotional defects and marriages like there are in the defects disclosure when buying a house. Wouldn’t you, in similar circumstances like to know that information before marrying someone? At least you can’t say John J is afraid of commitment (he told me that because of his religious beliefs he couldn’t live with a woman without marriage -lying must be OK) but apparently gives up too easily rather than working on a long term relationship leaving a trail of havoc for those women he supposedly loved.

The end of this saga is that he has moved to Las Vegas to live with Wife #7 and said to be teaching at some college. Ladies from Arizona and Phoenix especially can take a breather from this emotional scammer, at least for awhile… If you recognize anything about this man in an online dating profile do not engage (pun intended) just keep looking for the really wonderful man that you deserve.

Yolanda looks like a nice lady- as I am sure his previous fiances and wives are,  hopefully they will have a happy marriage. If not, she has family to help pick up the pieces like the rest of us did after our encounters with John J.

The newlyweds

The newlyweds

Jan
16

Scam Alert- Emotional scammer

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As you may have noticed I haven’t posted anything recently.  There are two reasons: 1) Rotator cuff surgery last Spring, rehab wasn’t fun and hard to type! 2) Licking my wounds from a compulsive liar that I was involved with ultimately engaged to and the break  up (thank goodness) and what I learned about him.

LADIES- JERK ALERT: If you run across 8999John, SC8999, or any variation on Evow.com or any other online dating site BEWARE! If he says he has been a California Highway Patrolman, retired Lutheran Missouri Synod Minister  (picture on some dating sites and LinkedIn in clerical gear) DO NOT RESPOND.  I recently dated John J Thomas in June, 2013 who described himself on eVow.com as “DIVORCED”, “I am very loyal and have never cheated…I am looking for a LTR hopefully with a Christian woman or someone who is interested in investigating a Christian life… I am not perfect and do not expect you to be perfect. I am not the jealous type. I trust that we are faithful to each other.” Sounds like what every woman is looking for doesn’t it? Unfortunately, he dishonors his Marine background and he mocks his Christian ethics (especially since he said he was a retired minister) because he is not truthful. He told me he had been divorced for two years and hadn’t “been with anyone other than his wife” since his divorce.

We had a whirlwind relationship, he proposed and we had planned a wedding for November, 2013 at his church in Sun City, AZ. He had told me on our 1st date I was free to do a background check (which I did and he was not a criminal or had financial instability), he said he had no secrets and I could look at look at anything in his house. During a family emergency *SEE BELOW in mid- September I was looking for next of kin I came across his UNSIGNED divorce papers dated 7/13/2013.  I must not have put them back exactly as I found them because on his return before I had a chance to ask him about his still being married he picked a fight and broke the engagement and told me to leave, which I did. It would have been difficult to marry him since he was still MARRIED !   At least he saved me from marrying a bigamist. I will never know for sure what other lies he told me.

On Sept 16, 2013 he texted me that the “WORST” had happened and that both grandchildren ( his daughter’s- she had also died 3 years before in an auto accident) had died in a car crash in Grenoble, France and that he was en-route to handle the details. His text said he got military transports “hops” and that he had gotten a temporary passport and visa (his passport was left on coffee table at home), 4 days later he returned bereft… Pastor Neil from his church even came and prayed with him over his LOSS. I thought I would give him a bit of time to grieve before I asked about  the divorce papers. Before I did he picked a fight and broke our engagement.

I posted our breakup on Facebook as I had our engagement and was contacted by a women in October  on Facebook,  she said she saw our engagement and break up and thought she should let me know that he was still married to her (Wife #6). He had told #6 the same tragic stories about his daughter dying in a car crash 3 years before, and  his daughter had given him his treasured Burgandy 1992 Mercedes 500 convertible as a thank you for putting her through Law School. He didn’t tell her about his 2 adult grandchildren (daughter’s) that lived in England.

Thanks to Wife #6 I was able to be in contact with Wife #5 and get more info, she had been with him for 20 years (until 2012) and told us that he hadn’t seen either of his children since they were in their teens and that she had never heard of any grandchildren. He did  not have the Mercedes when they were  married. Wife #5 said yes he had been a Highway Patrolman but had NEVER been a Minister.  A former Pastor friend  of mine in WA state verified he was not listed in their Regional synod as a present or former minister.

He also said he had been a POW in Viet Nam and left the Marines as a high ranking officer. My (retired Marine) Private Investigator has been unable to verify this.

I contacted Pastor Neil in October and asked him if John told him why we broke up. He told me John said “that everyone he loved had died tragically and he didn’t want anything to happen to me so he broke our engagement.” I told the Pastor that wasn’t true because John was still married to Wife #6. Pastor said he had brought  Wife (#6) to church and another woman that he was engaged to before that to church.

John did have many good qualities; he was very affectionate, supportive of my business, generous with loving little gifts but being truthful wasn’t one of them.  Obviously, commitment wasn’t a problem for him since he was married 6 times that we know of.  He found me a week after kicking out Wife #6 (per Wife #6). They met in January 2013, married in March and separated the first week of June. Their divorce was not finalized until the end of November. He was already looking for #7 a couple of weeks after our break up. Thanks to him I know what to look for in my next relationship as well as a copy of a divorce decree.

We were supposed to go to Mexico for a pre-honeymoon the first week of October. His grandson and grandaughter were coming from England for the wedding in November and we didn’t want to leave after the ceremony so we could spend time with them also with my daughter from Seattle and  son from Florida. I had booked our tickets with air miles as well as my son’s for the wedding, luckily I had purchased trip insurance in case of emergency. Due to the death of his grandchildren I was able to redeposit my air miles for his ticket but there was a $150 penalty on his and  my son’s tickets. The only way I could get my $300 back was to provide them with a copy of his grandchildren’s death certificates. I emailed  and texted John requesting the certificates multiple times and have NEVER received them. I wonder WHY because he doesn’t have them?

This is obviously embarrassing for me to tell but I am doing it so he doesn’t “emotionally scam” some other woman! Yes, I was hurt because I trusted this man, now I am angry and don’t want any other women to go through what I did. So if someone seems to be too good -be wary, if I could be taken in so might you.

John Thomas Badge

When I started my business Check Out A Date doing background checks in 2008 I would speak to groups of Singles about Dating issues.  During the Q & A sections I would be asked “what questions should I be asking?”

“How do I ask…?” “How do I phrase questions about Intimate issues? Etc.” The questions ranged from: “Is it important to share interests or values”,“religious differences”,” intimacy issues “ when is it right to sleep with someone” to “how do you ask about safe sex practices”.

I started collecting questions, consulted with psychologists, relationship coaches, and counselors to find a broad range of questions; that go from Pre-date (online dating and 1st phone calls) to before intimacy questions. I found that many questions go unasked because Singles didn’t know when to ask or how to phrase them.

As a result I developed “Conversation ? Cards” a set of 100+ cards. They worked well giving Singles a chance to look at what questions they should be asking themselves and their “love interests” to create a loving relationship. They were packaged in a box like a deck of cards but were a bit bulky to carry around if you ran out of conversation topics.

Technology has created opportunities to making it easier to create APP’s (Applications) for Android phones/tablets and iPhones/IPads that make the questions more available and portable. I have had an APP developed called “Check Out A Date QUESTIONS” currently over 325 questions divided into 6 Categories:
Who am I/ Who are You? You need to know yourself before you know what you need or want in a mate.
Getting Acquainted -starter questions, common interests, differences etc.
Relationships- Verbal foreplay – relevant questions involving compatibility issues.
Red Flags /Safety – Red Flags in a relationship and how to date safely.
Family History-questions that can be asked of family members or family events to learn about each other.

There is also a ” Relationship Readiness Quiz” provided by Marcy Rich, a relationship coach from “Heightened Connections, LLC” to help you evaluate if you are ready for a relationship.

The Android APP is available through Google Play – the Apple version is in the review process.

Could you be flirting with a felon? Having coffee with a con? Getting intimate with an imposter?
If after asking the questions during the dating process you become concerned about the answers from your date you may want to do a background check on them, especially before you become intimate, definitely before you move in with them, let alone marry them. There are some basic things you can do to check on them (see previous Blogs) but you should do a complete background check (performed by a licensed private detective -like we do),be cautious when ordering background checks that are advertised on TV or from the internet as they may not have access to updated law enforcement records.

It is best to be sure that your soul mate hasn’t been someone’s cell mate! If you feel they are not being totally truthful or that something doesn’t seem right then contact www.CheckOutADate.com our background checks will verify their identity and their integrity.

How do you start dating and do it safely? There are three public information websites that you can access to find out about your potential “love interest”.

GOOGLE -first do a Google search on YOURSELF ! Why, because you want to see what personal information is out in cyberspace about YOU. On MSN, GOOGLE, WHITE PAGES and Social media sites like Facebook, My Space etc. Unless you OPT OUT on MSN, Google and WHITE PAGES your age, home address and home phone number is made available to the public. Social media – be careful what info you make public, never have your birth date listed in full (identity theft) and don’t accept new “friends” unless you really know them. Sound a little paranoid, not really just common sense.

Safety Hint: I created Dating cards ( like a business card) that had my first name, cell phone number, and email address I created just for dating. When asked for name and number I’d give the card – easier than scribbling on a piece of paper and then you can ask for his business card ! ALWAYS get mans’ last name and a general idea of his age before deciding to meet him for a date. If he objects to giving it to you WHY? What does he have to hide? If asked for yours say you would rather wait for your personal safety until you know him better.

When I started dating after my divorce I joined Singles groups and did Online Dating. I’d moved to a new town and didn’t have that support group of friends and relatives who KNEW who the less than trustworthy Singles were.

When I met a man I was interested in the 1st thing I did was GOOGLE him -remember the search you did on yourself? The one that showed your personal information – well it works both ways what he can find out about you- you can find about him. That’s how I found out about the “Felon”, a convicted embezzler at a Singles Group. He was from another state and had been accepted as a new member of the Singles group ( he had been visiting every winter for four years ) and sponsored by two members who KNEW him. Admittedly, he gave the $1 million back and this was a non-violent offense but did I want to date someone with that kind of moral character?

Next, before I get into a man’s car- let alone invite him to my home I look at my states State’s Criminal Records like http://apps.supremecourt.az.gov/publicaccess) to see what shows up; DUI’s, sex offenders/predator lists and other criminal activity. Do I want to get into a car with a guy with a record? Nope ! “Has your Soul Mate been someone’s CellMate?”

Another public information source is County property records to see if he lives where he says he lives and with WHO. Did he tell you he was divorced and that he owns his home? These are the most least often updated records so not as current. You can check by name or address Maricopa Co Property http://mcassessor.maricopa.gov/assessor/ParcelApplication/.

Online dating is a little trickier because first contact is usually by email through a dating site. When signing up for a membership use that separate email address you created that does not use your real name and use it solely for online dating. Be very CAUTIOUS what personal information you give out to the site ( I change the day I was born by a couple of days), many of the dating sites share or sell their membership lists to other sites. Do not give personal information out to someone you meet from an online dating site, be a little mysterious.

If you are getting a RUSH from a guy in a short period of time; constant emails and/or long or multiple phone calls a day (give cell # only), and notice stilted language be on alert. Most men are not known for their communication skills and scammers want to get to know you fast. If he doesn’t ANSWER the questions you ask but ASKS you personal questions he may have a different agenda than falling in love. NEVER EVER GIVE OR SEND MONEY TO A MAN FOR ANY REASON.

I have met some really nice men on dating sites but I want them local not from some distant city. How hard would that be to get acquainted, let alone do your public records check?

Lastly, there are websites that purport to do background checks. Many of them acquire the information from Public databases unlike those done by companies that use private investigators.
Last year I did a talk about my business and decided to compare a report by one of my private investigators with a report from a background check company advertised on TV on “MR. S”. The report that Check Out A Date did on “MR. S” was 92 PAGES, he had 27 ALIASES and 27 addresses of wealthy women he had lived with, the TV background check company report was 2 PAGES and NO ALIASES. Although, he had no criminal record he appeared to have more than love in mind.

Use your instinct in dating, if something doesn’t seem right it probably isn’t. Move on to the next guy using Kristi DeWitt’s AKA Date Diva’s Dating Strategies and MANeuver’s from “Stories from the Dating Trenches”.

Before you let a “love interest” into your heart let alone your home do a little background checking on your own. If you have any doubts or are thinking of entering an intimate relationship (especially if you have children), have a thorough background check done by a company like mine performed by a licensed private investigator.

Feb
14

First Date

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Who says Romance and 1st dates can’t be humorous?
If you didn’t see this on the Tonight show, I hope you’re sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.

There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter…Snowing and quite cold… and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that a afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte!! They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became e aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car’s fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date’s concerns about’ what is taking so long’ with a reply that indeed, she was ‘freezing her butt off’ and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be ‘pants down’. And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno’s comment… ‘This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.’

Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

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Apr
08

Dating alert Facebook scammer

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LADIE’S WATCH OUT FOR THIS SCAMMER…
This was sent to me as a message on my Facebook fan page… These guys should be smarter and read the Profile of the woman they are trying to scam….DUH !!! My company does Background checks for crying out loud!!!

My name is Craig Anderson. I was born in Switzerland by an American Father and Swiss Mother. I Graduated from the Imperial College London as a Cinematographer. I am currently a media professional so,i make films and take picture for a living. I plan on setting up my own film and media company in the nearest future. I grew up living in 5 different countries due to the Nature of my Mothers Job before she retired and withdrew as a member of the United Nations Ruling council. She retired 15 years ago from UNICEF and started up an orphanage home that looks after destitute African children. My mother just died of Ovarian cancer so I have inheritance and I am looking for someone who can assist me in getting my inheritance.

For over a month I have been looking and I haven’t find anyone yet. I am looking to be with a very comfortable woman because I cannot settle for less so, I decided to look online to find love because I believe that through love I can find a special woman that can help me get my inheritance and start a serious relationship with me. If you are interested I like to know you better. My email address is andersoncraig73@XXXX.com. Can’t wait to hear from you!

Yesterday I received this email message on my Facebook page for Sandy Heart
Be Wary ladies for emails like this: 1.) grammar indicates this writer is not American, 2.) I have seen the “content” of this email before on scammers looking to solicit money from women.

I sent him back an email stating “that he obviously had not read my profile ” that my business is doing Background checks” and he sent me another email today ! This guy is persistent !

FACEBOOK
Between You and Ethan Coleman

“Ethan Coleman February 14 at 5:01pm Report
Hello, my name is Ethan Coleman i am 50 years of age.I live in Beverly Hills,California and am looking for serious relationship that we lead to married.I work in a construction company which we are into building houses,bridge and road constructions but in a quote(piper’s construction) and i happen to be the manager of the company,with some of the staffs working with me.
I really travel a lot because of my work.But right now i want to settle down with a good woman, a caring and loving woman who will take good care of my daughter and i will also take good care of Her.The woman am going to meet must have the qualities my late wife have before he passed on,qualities like Loving,Caring,understanding etc.
I reside in Beverly Hills,California.But right now I’m in outside the country,having a contract am working on at hand;that is the reason am in here and when I’m coming back in the state i will stop in UK to see my late father Attorney because he as been asking me to come to UK to see him and he also asking me some question when am i going to settle down again?
like i have said earlier that’s the major reason am in here.Always complaining to me to look for someone to be with since i had lost my wife but now that my daughter always complaining about that too.my daughter Cloe is study in boarding school in the state.
After i have lose her Mom,she is the Apple of my eyes which i do not play with.Now that i am coming back to the state to settle down fully with my wife to be and daughter and become a Happy family again.

Ethan Coleman February 16 at 10:35am Report
Hi Dear, i do check out your profile,if you dont mind do follow my email by visiting my yahoo id for for us talk better because i dont often visit facebook in here much….Here is my email ethancoleman69@yahoo.com.hope to hear from you….ethan”

April was Sexually Transmitted Disease and Infection (STD/STI’s) month. In the Dear Abby column of the AZ Republic there was a letter from Dr. Edward Salko, DO stating that the younger daters have been paying attention to the sex education they have received and are more likely to to use protection. That’s the good news.

The bad news is that the fastest growing group of people contracting and spreading STD/STI’s are Senior Citizens! Some fault medications for erectile dysfunction, midlife divorces or death of spouse, and online dating sites. The biggest factor is lack of education! When the Seniors were growing up (in the 30-60′s) they only had to worry about the two major STD’s; syphilis and gonorrhea, which were curable by antibiotics. Today there is a more serious and life threatening form AIDS or becoming HIV+. Also, when they were younger, the “worst” thing that could happen if you had unprotected sex was getting pregnant. Now, because many women are past menopause, that risk is gone, so they don’t use condoms, and the STD/STI’S ARE RAGING ON.
Many Seniors especially women won’t talk to their doctors about their sexual activity, and many doctors don’t bring it up because they feel uncomfortable ( who wants to ask someone their mothers or grandmothers about their sex life ) or mistakenly assume we older people don’t engage in or enjoy sexual activity. Dr. Edward Salko, D.O. urged older readers to get tested. Please Seniors don’t be offended if asked by your “love interest” to get an HIV test !

Dear Abby’s response was that if you are sexually active – no matter your age- for your own sake as well as your partners, USE A CONDOM EVERY TIME unless you and your partner have been tested for STD/STI’S) and know for certain that neither of you has been infected. Not everyone who has an STD/STI is aware of it and some just don’t care! You can’t tell by looking at someone whether that person is infected.
One of the National major Senior organizations reported in 2005 that one of the West Valley’s communities had the highest incidence per capita of HIV+ women in the country. These women were and are naive in their sexual activity. They are uncomfortable insisting that their partners use a condom. Perhaps they don’t know how to broach the subject or they don’t want to insult their dates, or don’t think it can happen to them. The truth is that as when they were younger it only took ONCE to get pregnant and the same goes for getting AIDS the most deadly form of STD.

Not to put all the blame on the women, men should also take the initiative and insist on using a condom, after all it takes two to tango. I have heard all the reasons why men don’t like using them but let’s face it is it worth your life to get a little more sensation?
On a lighter note there is a new TV series called “Senior Daze” shot in the West Valley of Maricopa County at over 55+ communities chronicling the adventures of lively fun Seniors. Let’s that they address the issue of SAFE SEX in one of their episodes. (FYI you can find previous episodes on Cox On Demand- new ones on channel 180).
Don’t forget to read previous articles at wwwe.tinyurl.com/PhxSandy

Categories : Safety Education
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Mar
17

Top 45 Questions to Ask a Date

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Whether you are just starting to Date or re-entering the Dating scene after a divorce or loss of spouse “What do you talk about?” is often a challenge. You meet a potential date online or at a social venue how do you get the conversation going? Impressions are made within 30 – 60 seconds, you only have a few minutes to see if there is chemistry between you and your date, you want to ask the right questions to see if there is compatibility. What do you talk about to make the most of your conversation?

Below is a list of suggested questions to you can ask, they can range from silly to serious: You don’t have to ask them all on the 1st Date (some might scare them off!), some are more in depth and can wait until the 2nd or 3rd Date. Read over them until you are familiar with them so they don’t sound forced or contrived.

1.What do you do for work?
It is an introductory question. It may reveal the professional status of a person but little about his personality. So move on to another question.
2.Where are you from? This reveals background. It throws better light on the person.
3.What is the one thing about yourself that you would like me to know?
More insight into personality.
4.When was your last relationship and how long did it last? A probing question that will open up the communication.
5.What are you looking for in a relationship? You can both instantly compare whether you match in this area.
6.What do you think is the most important value in a relationship?
7.Do you want to marry or have you ever been married? This is important, as it will reveal if both are moving in the same direction – towards or away from marriage.
8.What do you look for in a husband/wife? Try to elicit an honest answer.
9.Do you want/do you have any children? An important question if you are looking for a long-term relationship and your partner is not.
10.What do you do for fun? This will throw light on whether your leisure activities match. Are you a bookworm and she an outdoorsy person?
11.What are you most proud about? This reveals the basic values of the person, whether he/she values money or adventure/intellectual pursuits.
12.Is religion important to you? 24×7 living together means understanding on certain basic issues like religious beliefs.
13.Do you follow politics? Are you a Democrat or a Republican?
You can spar on your political affiliations.
14.Do you believe in love at first sight? You can decide whether he/she is a romantic person or not.
15.What is your most treasured possession and why? What a person is sentimental about reveals a great deal about his personality. Is it his bike or a locket presented by a sister?
16.What is your favorite month of the year and why? Does he like to sweat it out in summer activities or curl up like a cat in winter?
17.Which is your favorite book/movie? Both of you can discuss why you like a book or a movie – throws further in sight into personality.
18.Which is the last book you read? A conversation starter.
19.Which is the one job in the world that you would love to do?
Throws light on likes and dislikes.
20.Which is your favorite music and your favorite singer/band?
Do you share musical tastes?
21.Do you like animals/keep pets? Are you going to clash on this issue – one an animal hater, the other a pet lover?
22.How do you spend your spare time? This is important, as it will really help if both love to do the same things in spare time.
23.Where do you see yourself in five years time? Watch out if he has no definite goals for the future and is in a rut. A positive mark for her if she has her life and career planned out positively.
24.If you were an animal in the wild, what would you be?
Silly, amusing question to get the laughs.
25.Do you believe a cup is half empty or half full? Are you an optimist or a pessimist?
26.If you could travel back through time, what single mistake would you correct in life. What are the deepest regrets of a person?
27.You have got six months to live, what will you do first?
Insight into personality.
28.Is sexual compatibility important to you? Do opinions match?
29.Who was your hero, as a child? Insight into personality.
30.If you won a lottery, how would you spend your millions?
Amusing question just for laughs.
31.Which was the first crush you ever had? Reminiscing sentiments.
32.What makes you laugh/cry? Really important and throws light on personality.
33.If you have friends coming over, what would you cook?
34.Describe your perfect holiday. One thinks frozen Alaska, the other sunny Australia.
35.Which T.V. program would you never miss? Do your tastes match?
36.What is the last CD you bought?
37.Are you a morning person or a night person? Will you ever spend common time?
38.Would you like to climb a mountain or trek across a desert?
Will you ever agree on holidays?
39.What adjective would a close friend use to describe you?
Friendly or idiotic.
40.If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
41.Into which personality�s shoes would you like to step for a day?
Says a lot about your taste.
42.Who is you favorite actor/actress/celebrity and why?
43.Who is your favorite sportsperson?
44.What is your favorite sporting activity?
45.Which is your favorite genre of movies – comedy/thriller/action?

Thank you to the guys at SpeedDating.com for sharing their questions. Remember these questions are suggestions, feel free to change them to suit your interests and personality. Most of all – take the time to LISTEN to the replies and ANSWER their questions. If any REPLIES send up RED FLAGS or the hair on the back of your neck stands up TRUST your instinct. Employers do pre-employment background checks, why shouldn’t you check out your Date? (http:www.CheckOutADate.com) LADIES make sure you meet that 1st Date at a public place, don’t have him pick you up at your home! You wouldn’t invite a door-to-door salesman into your home would you? Men don’t be offended the ladies are just being cautious, there are a few weirdo’s out there.

I am thinking of turning these questions into a pocket size game like Trivial Pursuit for Dating. Would love your comments.

Check Out A Date

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