Dating Online: A Happy Ending

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For those of you who follow my blog on Dating and Relationships I thought I would let you know there are Happy Endings. In January, 2014 I blogged about John an Emotional Scammer that I had met through Evow.com. We dated, became engaged to marry in November of 2013, then all of a sudden he broke the engagement after a minor disagreement.

After posting our broken engagement on Facebook I was contacted by a woman who said it was good that we weren’t getting married because he was still married to her! We were curious about each other so we met and started comparing notes and stories he had told us both. We discovered that she was Wife #6 and I would be #7 had I been able to marry him. Now being married 6 times for a 62 year old man is not a crime, at least he wasn’t afraid of commitment . Unfortunately, he was a compulsive liar about most of the details of his life. We connected with Wife #5 who had been with him for 20 years before their divorce in 2012 and she told us the truth. Stories about his 2 children, purported grand -children, his ministry and many more were found to be unverifiable. He was still married to Wife # 6 ( for 3 months before they broke up) when we started dating and he would not sign their divorce papers. I found the divorce papers dated July, 2013 in September when looking for next of kin during a family disaster (according to him). I was going to wait a few days after his return to ask about them before he broke our engagement when he returned home from his family crisis.

The Great News is that Wife #6 finally got her divorce papers signed and divorce was finalized early December, 2013. It cost her a few thousand dollars but she was finally free of him. Her experience would have sent most women into a tail spin and not trusting men but she decided that John was a jerk and he wasn’t going to ruin her search for a sweet loving man.

Wife #6 met “R” online while waiting for her divorce to be finalized. “R” was a widower, sweet loving, kind, thoughtful and a little bit shy. They took it slow, their relationship building with time, sure they had a few differences but he proved to be everything a warm loving woman could want.

Wife #6 and “R” are now in love. Recently, they picked up her grandchild for a visit and everyone is happy. Last year when her grandchild came to visit was when John told her to leave, I guess he didn’t want to share her attention.
Sometimes it takes kissing a few frogs before you meet your Prince (Princess) but it is worth the wait. I am very HAPPY for Wife #6 and ”R”, they are an adorable couple and she has become a friend. “R” made it through meeting #6’s girlfriends with flying colors. He is a sweet man and I hope I can find someone special like him someday.
(To respect their privacy I did not use their names.)

Google Images helped me “Out” a  probable scammer by me inputting a man’s picture I met on POF into their Image Search. It  came up with the man’s picture under a different name which was reported by a website www.yourittoday.com. I had never seen this site  before, not only does it tell what other names are associated with a photo but what country it originated. I don’t know where they got the man’s photo (he may be a perfectly nice man) whose photo they “stole” from a Social media site but it is being used on a dating site.

Here is his POF posting and  his two emails to me. See how they should raise red flags and you should read carefully.

POF gntilman  4/18/2014 10:15:17 AMHello Beautiful, how are you doing? my name is Paul and you look so beautiful, nice smile and i like your hair and I will like to be a friend and I will appreciate it so much for you give me the privilege to get to know you better or if we can talk on phone here is my email…. (bigheartpaul)I will be looking forward to an email from you.

Best Regards, Paul

Sent: Friday, April 18, 2014 9:38 AM
To: SassySandy
Subject: Hello from pof

Hello Sandy
How are you doing this lovely day..and I will appreciate it so much for you give me the privilege to get to know you better as you seem like that woman i would love to share those good and bad times of life with and also make you feel like that woman you have always wanted to be. I am a relaxed and more relaxed gentle man with lovely sense of humor and a great sense of sensitivity, open minded and fun to be with. I am looking for that special woman to grow old with, a soul mate, lover and a best friend. what do you do in your spare time? what are your likes and dislikes? How long have you been on your own for? What are you looking for in a relationship? what is your ideal man ?

I will be looking forward to read from you again       Paul


To: ‘Paul Woodworth’ bigheartpaul
Sent: Tue, Apr 22, 2014 4:32 pm
Subject: Hello from pof

Hi Paul,
Sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner but I have a really diligent spam filter.
Thank you for your email. I will be happy to answer your questions.
I have been in Arizona this time (lived here 2 other times growing up) since 2005 after my divorce. I lived in WA state for 26 years, didn’t like it because it was too dreary. How long have you lived in Phoenix and what country are you from? How long were you married and when were you widowed?
I have two self-sufficient married children; my daughter in Seattle and son with my grandchildren live in Florida. Do you have children?
My spare time I like to travel, I go to Mexico twice a year for a couple of weeks with friends or family. Photography, reading and stained glass are hobbies. I also have a small business that I spend a little time with, mostly networking.

Are you retired? What did you do for an occupation?
As to what I am looking for in a relationship – long term and committed as I am not into one night stands. Communication is a necessity.
There is no such thing as an ideal man or woman. We all have different things to offer each other both good and bad.
Regards, Sandy

Sent: Tuesday,  April 22, 2014 9:38 AM
To: SassySandy
Subject: Hello from pof

Good morning Sandy – I was very happy to read from you. I hope you had a good night rest? Funny saying about your diligent spam filter… I was married for a very long time.. until I lost my wife 9 years ago.. I have not seen my one daughter in over 7 years.. she is in Japan married with her kids.. the good thing is they are happy and thats what matters.. Now is the time for a fresh start..since moving in from Australia..I have been all by myself.. trying to settle .. now I think I want that woman.. we must have come across each others path for a reason and I am not letting go. I hope we can get what we want..at least good friendship. Do you have a yahoo messenger? I would love if we do have time to chat on IM.. its a good way of communicating as it feels a bit more life..texting as well..will look forward to that. You have a nice day.

I am an oil mandate..I buy and sell crude oil. Its a drilling, hiring, loading and shipping process.. I have to travel to countries where you have crude oil as natural resources to get these product but first it must be as a result of ordered or contract winnings.I am half Australian and half American .. but well used to the Australia culture as that is where I lived most of my life.

I love to do a whole lot of things for fun..from indoors to outdoors.. to sports ..movies..dancing ..cooking ..charities..name them.. its the kind of person I am.. I’m a bit old fashioned. I’m honest and up front as well. I don’t lie and don’t believe in keeping secrets. Trust is very important. . if I can’t trust you, it’s not worth it.
I love mingling and chatting away, like a typical man! I work hard and want to meet a woman for socializing and enjoying times like going the movies, romantic meals, cuddling up and watching DVDs. Im not a shy, introverted man but Im not an extroverted type of guy either that has to show off. Im somewhere in the middle – confident and a little cheeky!

I’m not into multi-dating! I do not date more than one person. I’m pretty secure with myself and know what I want. I want one person who I can talk to, who will call me during the day to just say hi, laugh with me, have dinner with me, just someone to enjoy time with. Someone who wants to spend time with me..do you have a yahoo messenger? we could try to IM and get to know each other better.. will look forward to hearing from you again soon.    Hugs, Paul

So aside from the grammatical  inconsistencies do you notice how awkward the email reads, it shouldn’t be that way since as far as I know Australians speak English as their primary language.

I DO NOT do “IM”, I would rather Skype so I can see “LIVE” who I am talking to (Thank You Nev from Catfish on MTV). If they have a computer you can Skype or Facetime. Besides,  if you think you click via email there is always the TELEPHONE where you get a better idea of a person’s personality,  then there is actually a real live date. My personal experience is that the kind of man I would want to meet doesn’t go “trolling” IM sites especially Yahoo where I found the most questionable men who are either widowed with a  7 year old or teenage child, who is  looking for the next “love” of his life and Mother for his child. I will admit I have an AARP card and have no plans to raise another child, been there done that and did it quite well since I have two fantastic adult children.

The other type of man who is into “IM” is usually only trying to kill time because he doesn’t have a date or just “window shopping” and not serious about a relationship. In this day of unlimited mobile calling minutes and  Skype why get cramped fingers ‘IMing”?

What would happen if I told him I wanted to meet him tomorrow since I am going on vacation next week and he sounds like such an interesting man? Would he be able to meet me? What if I told him my business does background checks? Do you think it would matter? Most of all never send MONEY to anyone for any reason!




One of Gntilman names is Paul Woodworth in PHX

One of Gntilman’s names is Paul Woodworth in PHX

Recently, I saw a nice looking man on POF’s dating site: gntilman (login name) Non-smoker with Average body type, City: Phoenix, Arizona, Details: 68 year old Man, 6′ 2″ (188cm), Other Religion Ethnicity: Caucasian Aries with Blonde hair, Eye Color : hazel. Intent : gntilman is looking for a relationship. Education : Some university  Personality: Free Thinker Profession: other  (scammer?)

His profile reads: I am seeking a woman for a long term relationship. I do not drink. Marital status: widowed. Interests: bb cardinals, dancing, theater, drawing, Arkansas razorbacks and making candles.

About Me

“I don’t really have much to say about me but its very wonderful when we have a wonderful feeling about life and the people around us irrespective of who they are and where they are from. I am a relaxed and more relaxed man to be with ,easy going, open minded and friendly man..who likes to see the bright side of everything I do in life. am fun to be with , very humble, friendly, understanding ,easy going , open minded, Hard working, honest, respectful, caring, loyal, romantic & like being spontaneous & adventurous, intelligent, fun-loving & young at heart, understanding, great communicator & good companion. Relaxed and relaxing to be with. I have good sense of humor and lovely integrity to love and to be loved. I am a very passionate man who loves to put his woman first in everything he does.

I have so much love, respect and trust for that woman of my heart and will also treat her like that woman she has always wanted to be because she is my number one priority. I love the responsibilities of my daily obligations, and so willing to go into a long term relationship with that woman my heart calls for; no matter the distances between us and am very willing to work at relationship and also to ensure the best of future together with someone that enjoys the things that nature has in stock for us.

First Date: looking for someone that is kind, caring, selfless, considerate and thoughtful, romantic and funny and loves to have fun, then maybe we should get to know each other better. I’m looking for a mate, a partner for life. How ever you’d like to put it, that’s what I’m here for. Sorry if it sounds like I’m being so direct, however I’m learning more about this site thing all the time and would rather cut to the chase and let others know exactly where I stand. So now that I got that off my chest, I feel better. lol That’s who I am. A very good communicator. You’ll never have to guess where I stand or where you stand with me, you’ll know it. “I say what I mean and I do what I say.” Al Pacino said those words in “Heat” and those are the words I live by. So if you’d like to learn more about me and let me learn more about you… I all for that “

I did not edit this profile but I did question the syntax and  grammar. I am not surprised by typos because many men did not have to type memos etc for their jobs, so typing can be awkward. After a few messages back in forth I gave him my email address, he sent me a nice email signed Paul Woodworth  bigheartpaul aol but the content and syntax /grammar did not improve. It was still very awkward.

My new habit on meeting someone on line (you could do it for other meet ups if you can get their photo) is to click on their photo on the website and copy it to your hard drive then copy it to “Google Images” and hit search. Normally if someone has been on the Internet anywhere with a photo it can find them. In this case two websites popped up with info on this guy with different names and not complimentary comments. Here are the sites: http:/www.yourittoday.com and  www.delphifaq.com  you may want to bookmark these sites for future use.

Yes, I did report him to POF and since Markus Frind, the owner/developer doesn’t like potential scammers he will be removed but more than likely he will pop up on another site. Keep your eyes out for this guy! I don’t mean that everyone who does not use colloquial (everyday conversation) English could be a scammer but be wary, most educated people from other countries speak and write English better than we do.

Another scammer BITES THE DUST I hope! Now I don’t have to do a background check on him but would have before I had him pick me up at my house for a date.


February, 2013 the Android Version of my App “Check Out A Date QUESTIONS” was approved by Google.  February 4, 2014  Apple approved the version for iPad and iPhone but they changed the visual format and the way the App works. You can watch the longer video version under “Get the Questions APP” page of this website.

The concept of the App was to enable a Single to ask and answer the QUESTIONS in order of the Categories:

Who am I / Who are You –  To be able to learn what kind of mate you are looking for – you need to know your wants and needs first. Ask the first Category questions of yourself then of your potential dates.

Getting Acquainted –general questions of interests; hobbies, music, time needed to self and definitely marital status!

Relationships– more in-depth questions on how much a subject matters or what they think.

Intimacy – those tricky questions you may not know how to phrase or ask and their importance in a relationship.

Red Flags / Safety –If any of the answers from the other Categories concern you – LISTEN to your instinct and get them checked out (we can do a background check). For those re-entering Dating after a divorce or death of spouse there are Safety issues that are new to our Millennium.

Family History – this is a fun section of questions you can ask friend or families to learn more about them and what is/was important to them. Great for Family dinners!

 There is also a Relationship Readiness Quiz from Marcy Rich, MA from Heightened Connections to help evaluate how ready you are for a committed relationship.

I could use some help from Singles. Please watch the a 1 minute version of the APP on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV7CU6oi3SQ. If it looks interesting and you LIKE the video and format  PLEASE give it a THUMBS UP. Feel free to Share on any Social Media sites you are on. If I get enough positive comments then I can use it to have the format  restored to the original design.

Check Out A Date QUESTIONS App




This is an update to my Jan. 16, 2014 post: Wife #6 (their divorce finalized 12/1/2013) lived close by John J’s house noticing that his car hadn’t been there for quite a while and the house looked vacant. Wife #6  checked his Facebook page and saw a photo of his wedding in December to Yolanda M. performed by John’s friend Padre “P” in Phoenix , not by his Pastor at his home  church in Sun City, AZ. John had taken her to Bryce Canyon, AZ in the Fall and posted a photo of them  (hopefully after our  broken engagement 9/30/2013  unless that is where he was when he was supposed to be in France handling the “deaths of his two grandchildren”).

Padre “P” commented on the Facebook photo and what a nice couple they made. I sent a message to the good Padre asking him how a good friend of John J’s he was and whether he was aware of his propensity to not be truthful. I explained why I asked; how long he had been divorced  (at that time he was still married to Wife #6 while engaged to me, he had told me he had been divorced for two years), the stories of his estrangement with his son, his beloved daughters’ tragic death in a car accident three years before and her children’s purported deaths in France in mid-September, 2013. I emailed that if he needed any additional information to feel free to call me and I would elaborate. He never contacted me by email or phone.

I wonder if Padre “P” did the usual pre-marital counseling with John J and Yolanda? Did he mention that John J had been married 6 times (that we know of) or that he had been engaged to at least 3 women in the past 18 months since his divorce from Wife # 5 in mid 2012. Apparently there isn’t required disclosure of emotional defects and marriages like there are in the defects disclosure when buying a house. Wouldn’t you, in similar circumstances like to know that information before marrying someone? At least you can’t say John J is afraid of commitment (he told me that because of his religious beliefs he couldn’t live with a woman without marriage -lying must be OK) but apparently gives up too easily rather than working on a long term relationship leaving a trail of havoc for those women he supposedly loved.

The end of this saga is that he has moved to Las Vegas to live with Wife #7 and said to be teaching at some college. Ladies from Arizona and Phoenix especially can take a breather from this emotional scammer, at least for awhile… If you recognize anything about this man in an online dating profile do not engage (pun intended) just keep looking for the really wonderful man that you deserve.

Yolanda looks like a nice lady- as I am sure his previous fiances and wives are,  hopefully they will have a happy marriage. If not, she has family to help pick up the pieces like the rest of us did after our encounters with John J.

The newlyweds

The newlyweds


Scam Alert- Emotional scammer

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As you may have noticed I haven’t posted anything recently.  There are two reasons: 1) Rotator cuff surgery last Spring, rehab wasn’t fun and hard to type! 2) Licking my wounds from a compulsive liar that I was involved with ultimately engaged to and the break  up (thank goodness) and what I learned about him.

LADIES- JERK ALERT: If you run across 8999John, SC8999, or any variation on Evow.com or any other online dating site BEWARE! If he says he has been a California Highway Patrolman, retired Lutheran Missouri Synod Minister  (picture on some dating sites and LinkedIn in clerical gear) DO NOT RESPOND.  I recently dated John J Thomas in June, 2013 who described himself on eVow.com as “DIVORCED”, “I am very loyal and have never cheated…I am looking for a LTR hopefully with a Christian woman or someone who is interested in investigating a Christian life… I am not perfect and do not expect you to be perfect. I am not the jealous type. I trust that we are faithful to each other.” Sounds like what every woman is looking for doesn’t it? Unfortunately, he dishonors his Marine background and he mocks his Christian ethics (especially since he said he was a retired minister) because he is not truthful. He told me he had been divorced for two years and hadn’t “been with anyone other than his wife” since his divorce.

We had a whirlwind relationship, he proposed and we had planned a wedding for November, 2013 at his church in Sun City, AZ. He had told me on our 1st date I was free to do a background check (which I did and he was not a criminal or had financial instability), he said he had no secrets and I could look at look at anything in his house. During a family emergency *SEE BELOW in mid- September I was looking for next of kin I came across his UNSIGNED divorce papers dated 7/13/2013.  I must not have put them back exactly as I found them because on his return before I had a chance to ask him about his still being married he picked a fight and broke the engagement and told me to leave, which I did. It would have been difficult to marry him since he was still MARRIED !   At least he saved me from marrying a bigamist. I will never know for sure what other lies he told me.

On Sept 16, 2013 he texted me that the “WORST” had happened and that both grandchildren ( his daughter’s- she had also died 3 years before in an auto accident) had died in a car crash in Grenoble, France and that he was en-route to handle the details. His text said he got military transports “hops” and that he had gotten a temporary passport and visa (his passport was left on coffee table at home), 4 days later he returned bereft… Pastor Neil from his church even came and prayed with him over his LOSS. I thought I would give him a bit of time to grieve before I asked about  the divorce papers. Before I did he picked a fight and broke our engagement.

I posted our breakup on Facebook as I had our engagement and was contacted by a women in October  on Facebook,  she said she saw our engagement and break up and thought she should let me know that he was still married to her (Wife #6). He had told #6 the same tragic stories about his daughter dying in a car crash 3 years before, and  his daughter had given him his treasured Burgandy 1992 Mercedes 500 convertible as a thank you for putting her through Law School. He didn’t tell her about his 2 adult grandchildren (daughter’s) that lived in England.

Thanks to Wife #6 I was able to be in contact with Wife #5 and get more info, she had been with him for 20 years (until 2012) and told us that he hadn’t seen either of his children since they were in their teens and that she had never heard of any grandchildren. He did  not have the Mercedes when they were  married. Wife #5 said yes he had been a Highway Patrolman but had NEVER been a Minister.  A former Pastor friend  of mine in WA state verified he was not listed in their Regional synod as a present or former minister.

He also said he had been a POW in Viet Nam and left the Marines as a high ranking officer. My (retired Marine) Private Investigator has been unable to verify this.

I contacted Pastor Neil in October and asked him if John told him why we broke up. He told me John said “that everyone he loved had died tragically and he didn’t want anything to happen to me so he broke our engagement.” I told the Pastor that wasn’t true because John was still married to Wife #6. Pastor said he had brought  Wife (#6) to church and another woman that he was engaged to before that to church.

John did have many good qualities; he was very affectionate, supportive of my business, generous with loving little gifts but being truthful wasn’t one of them.  Obviously, commitment wasn’t a problem for him since he was married 6 times that we know of.  He found me a week after kicking out Wife #6 (per Wife #6). They met in January 2013, married in March and separated the first week of June. Their divorce was not finalized until the end of November. He was already looking for #7 a couple of weeks after our break up. Thanks to him I know what to look for in my next relationship as well as a copy of a divorce decree.

We were supposed to go to Mexico for a pre-honeymoon the first week of October. His grandson and grandaughter were coming from England for the wedding in November and we didn’t want to leave after the ceremony so we could spend time with them also with my daughter from Seattle and  son from Florida. I had booked our tickets with air miles as well as my son’s for the wedding, luckily I had purchased trip insurance in case of emergency. Due to the death of his grandchildren I was able to redeposit my air miles for his ticket but there was a $150 penalty on his and  my son’s tickets. The only way I could get my $300 back was to provide them with a copy of his grandchildren’s death certificates. I emailed  and texted John requesting the certificates multiple times and have NEVER received them. I wonder WHY because he doesn’t have them?

This is obviously embarrassing for me to tell but I am doing it so he doesn’t “emotionally scam” some other woman! Yes, I was hurt because I trusted this man, now I am angry and don’t want any other women to go through what I did. So if someone seems to be too good -be wary, if I could be taken in so might you.

John Thomas Badge

When I started my business Check Out A Date doing background checks in 2008 I would speak to groups of Singles about Dating issues.  During the Q & A sections I would be asked “what questions should I be asking?”

“How do I ask…?” “How do I phrase questions about Intimate issues? Etc.” The questions ranged from: “Is it important to share interests or values”,“religious differences”,” intimacy issues “ when is it right to sleep with someone” to “how do you ask about safe sex practices”.

I started collecting questions, consulted with psychologists, relationship coaches, and counselors to find a broad range of questions; that go from Pre-date (online dating and 1st phone calls) to before intimacy questions. I found that many questions go unasked because Singles didn’t know when to ask or how to phrase them.

As a result I developed “Conversation ? Cards” a set of 100+ cards. They worked well giving Singles a chance to look at what questions they should be asking themselves and their “love interests” to create a loving relationship. They were packaged in a box like a deck of cards but were a bit bulky to carry around if you ran out of conversation topics.

Technology has created opportunities to making it easier to create APP’s (Applications) for Android phones/tablets and iPhones/IPads that make the questions more available and portable. I have had an APP developed called “Check Out A Date QUESTIONS” currently over 325 questions divided into 6 Categories:
Who am I/ Who are You? You need to know yourself before you know what you need or want in a mate.
Getting Acquainted -starter questions, common interests, differences etc.
Relationships– Verbal foreplay – relevant questions involving compatibility issues.
Red Flags /Safety – Red Flags in a relationship and how to date safely.
Family History-questions that can be asked of family members or family events to learn about each other.

There is also a ” Relationship Readiness Quiz” provided by Marcy Rich, a relationship coach from “Heightened Connections, LLC” to help you evaluate if you are ready for a relationship.

The Android APP is available through Google Play – the Apple version is in the review process.

Could you be flirting with a felon? Having coffee with a con? Getting intimate with an imposter?
If after asking the questions during the dating process you become concerned about the answers from your date you may want to do a background check on them, especially before you become intimate, definitely before you move in with them, let alone marry them. There are some basic things you can do to check on them (see previous Blogs) but you should do a complete background check (performed by a licensed private detective -like we do),be cautious when ordering background checks that are advertised on TV or from the internet as they may not have access to updated law enforcement records.

It is best to be sure that your soul mate hasn’t been someone’s cell mate! If you feel they are not being totally truthful or that something doesn’t seem right then contact www.CheckOutADate.com our background checks will verify their identity and their integrity.

How do you start dating and do it safely? There are three public information websites that you can access to find out about your potential “love interest”.

GOOGLE -first do a Google search on YOURSELF ! Why, because you want to see what personal information is out in cyberspace about YOU. On MSN, GOOGLE, WHITE PAGES and Social media sites like Facebook, My Space etc. Unless you OPT OUT on MSN, Google and WHITE PAGES your age, home address and home phone number is made available to the public. Social media – be careful what info you make public, never have your birth date listed in full (identity theft) and don’t accept new “friends” unless you really know them. Sound a little paranoid, not really just common sense.

Safety Hint: I created Dating cards ( like a business card) that had my first name, cell phone number, and email address I created just for dating. When asked for name and number I’d give the card – easier than scribbling on a piece of paper and then you can ask for his business card ! ALWAYS get mans’ last name and a general idea of his age before deciding to meet him for a date. If he objects to giving it to you WHY? What does he have to hide? If asked for yours say you would rather wait for your personal safety until you know him better.

When I started dating after my divorce I joined Singles groups and did Online Dating. I’d moved to a new town and didn’t have that support group of friends and relatives who KNEW who the less than trustworthy Singles were.

When I met a man I was interested in the 1st thing I did was GOOGLE him -remember the search you did on yourself? The one that showed your personal information – well it works both ways what he can find out about you- you can find about him. That’s how I found out about the “Felon”, a convicted embezzler at a Singles Group. He was from another state and had been accepted as a new member of the Singles group ( he had been visiting every winter for four years ) and sponsored by two members who KNEW him. Admittedly, he gave the $1 million back and this was a non-violent offense but did I want to date someone with that kind of moral character?

Next, before I get into a man’s car- let alone invite him to my home I look at my states State’s Criminal Records like http://apps.supremecourt.az.gov/publicaccess) to see what shows up; DUI’s, sex offenders/predator lists and other criminal activity. Do I want to get into a car with a guy with a record? Nope ! “Has your Soul Mate been someone’s CellMate?”

Another public information source is County property records to see if he lives where he says he lives and with WHO. Did he tell you he was divorced and that he owns his home? These are the most least often updated records so not as current. You can check by name or address Maricopa Co Property http://mcassessor.maricopa.gov/assessor/ParcelApplication/.

Online dating is a little trickier because first contact is usually by email through a dating site. When signing up for a membership use that separate email address you created that does not use your real name and use it solely for online dating. Be very CAUTIOUS what personal information you give out to the site ( I change the day I was born by a couple of days), many of the dating sites share or sell their membership lists to other sites. Do not give personal information out to someone you meet from an online dating site, be a little mysterious.

If you are getting a RUSH from a guy in a short period of time; constant emails and/or long or multiple phone calls a day (give cell # only), and notice stilted language be on alert. Most men are not known for their communication skills and scammers want to get to know you fast. If he doesn’t ANSWER the questions you ask but ASKS you personal questions he may have a different agenda than falling in love. NEVER EVER GIVE OR SEND MONEY TO A MAN FOR ANY REASON.

I have met some really nice men on dating sites but I want them local not from some distant city. How hard would that be to get acquainted, let alone do your public records check?

Lastly, there are websites that purport to do background checks. Many of them acquire the information from Public databases unlike those done by companies that use private investigators.
Last year I did a talk about my business and decided to compare a report by one of my private investigators with a report from a background check company advertised on TV on “MR. S”. The report that Check Out A Date did on “MR. S” was 92 PAGES, he had 27 ALIASES and 27 addresses of wealthy women he had lived with, the TV background check company report was 2 PAGES and NO ALIASES. Although, he had no criminal record he appeared to have more than love in mind.

Use your instinct in dating, if something doesn’t seem right it probably isn’t. Move on to the next guy using Kristi DeWitt’s AKA Date Diva’s Dating Strategies and MANeuver’s from “Stories from the Dating Trenches”.

Before you let a “love interest” into your heart let alone your home do a little background checking on your own. If you have any doubts or are thinking of entering an intimate relationship (especially if you have children), have a thorough background check done by a company like mine performed by a licensed private investigator.


First Date

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Who says Romance and 1st dates can’t be humorous?
If you didn’t see this on the Tonight show, I hope you’re sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.

There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter…Snowing and quite cold… and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that a afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte!! They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became e aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car’s fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date’s concerns about’ what is taking so long’ with a reply that indeed, she was ‘freezing her butt off’ and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be ‘pants down’. And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno’s comment… ‘This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.’

Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

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Dating alert Facebook scammer

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This was sent to me as a message on my Facebook fan page… These guys should be smarter and read the Profile of the woman they are trying to scam….DUH !!! My company does Background checks for crying out loud!!!

My name is Craig Anderson. I was born in Switzerland by an American Father and Swiss Mother. I Graduated from the Imperial College London as a Cinematographer. I am currently a media professional so,i make films and take picture for a living. I plan on setting up my own film and media company in the nearest future. I grew up living in 5 different countries due to the Nature of my Mothers Job before she retired and withdrew as a member of the United Nations Ruling council. She retired 15 years ago from UNICEF and started up an orphanage home that looks after destitute African children. My mother just died of Ovarian cancer so I have inheritance and I am looking for someone who can assist me in getting my inheritance.

For over a month I have been looking and I haven’t find anyone yet. I am looking to be with a very comfortable woman because I cannot settle for less so, I decided to look online to find love because I believe that through love I can find a special woman that can help me get my inheritance and start a serious relationship with me. If you are interested I like to know you better. My email address is andersoncraig73@XXXX.com. Can’t wait to hear from you!

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